The Leads Missing in Theater: Suzanne Darrell
Suzanne Darrell stars as Bird Wilson in the film of the play, MIRRORS, by Azure D. Osborne-Lee.
This play is both haunting and comforting. And Darrell's experience highlights the serendipity within the making of this story. It was an experience better left to transcribe, and take heed to her thoughts.
Below you can find her interview transcript on her process in being part of MIRRORS.
MIRRORS is set to premiere November 10th, 2021. Please click here for more information.
Suzanne Darrell: A Birth of MIRRORS
I met Azure D. Osborne Lee, about 11 years ago. They were stage managing another play I was in at the time. Azure was relatively new to the city, and I was in grad school at the time, at The Actor’s Studio Drama School at PACE University. They were in between apartments and came to live with me. We became very close friends. Azure was writing MIRRORS for Freedom Train Productions. He was doing a playwriting workshop, and Mirrors was born there.
First Times to Remember
I was probably one of the first people to read it… And in 2010 Azure decided to have a staged reading of it for the first time. I was privileged to read the role of Bird... What drew me the most to Bird is that she wasn’t the typical shero. I thought about the time of 1960 and what it meant to be queer in a small Mississippi town, no less. I wondered what it must have been like for her and I thought, ‘This would be a challenge.’
I’m always up for a challenge. It's just so brilliantly written by Azure. There is a depth of love and pain that moves from the small town pettiness and gossip, in the form of the church ladies to the torture that Bird lives with daily through the loss of the love of her life... It's a very powerful and provocative story. After I read it for the first time, I knew I had to play the role of Bird. She’s like no one I’ve ever known before. A Black middle-aged woman in 1960, who is and queer, decides to live life on her own terms? Yes, that’s what drew me to Bird.
Plus Size Leads
Being a plus size person in an industry that does not usually embrace plus size people and women in particular can be extraordinarily difficult. The fact that Azurerecognized I was talented and deserved the opportunity to have a moment to play someone who wouldn’t normally be acknowledged , or hired to play Bird, was affirming for me as an actor... It was exciting to me, as plus size woman, to read her for the first time. And when I auditioned for the play in August of 2019, I thought, ‘Well, you know what, I have nothing to lose. I’m going to go in, and I’m going to do what I know how to do. And I’m going to bring Bird to life the way I know that I can, in my body, in my mind and in my Spirit.’ And I did. And I’m grateful to Azure, to Parity Productions and to myself for showing up for the experience. I’d like to give a special shout out to Jamibeth Margolis Casting for calling me in.
Ancestors and Theatre Making
Every strong and powerful actor pulls from their personal life experiences to build a character... Bird and I have similarities but we’re also very, different. My personal belief is that my ancestors and my guides were with me. . That might be woo-woo for some people to understand, but it isn’t for me. I believe they have been on this journey with me to become the best actor/performer I know how to be, in an industry where I am normally invisible...
So yes, do I have a sense they are always with me? Yes, I do. And did I bring that with me into both the play and film version of MIRRORS? Absolutely.
I saw one of the rough cuts and I thought ‘That’s not me.’ That’s someone else. I was cracked wide open, to whatever the Universe had to do to move through me to lift this character from the page. I memorized all those words, and made specific choices, and Bird showed up.
Suzanne’s Conjures of Bird: Hauntings in MIRRORS
Bird is extremely haunted. One of the lines that clearly informs the audience that she’s haunted is when she says,‘I can’t have this house be a prison for us both.’ And she’s been carrying the weight of that on her back for years.
Bird also talks about coming into ownership of the house through the death of her parents, and how that was unexpected. She never thought about leaving at any point in time, and it would always be that house, and that career as a metalworker and that town...
She wanted a simple life, but she got stuck. I think we all get stuck or emotionally paralyzed in unexpected ways. The trauma Bird lived through kept her complacent and the arch of Bird’s character is to see her moving through that... We finally glimpse that at the end of the play.
Suzanne Darrell as “Bird” in Mirrors.
Rituals and Traditions
The darkness of Bird’s life didn’t give way to a great deal of creativity in ritual. I imagine her creativity was tied up in her being a metal worker. That was where she spent the majority of her waking hours, working. She had other kinds of rituals. For instance, she made her mama’s biscuits and that was a tradition that was passed down through her family. She also loved the ritual of listening to music and dancing.
As a metal worker which was primarily a job men did at the time, she created things for people in her community who had a need. There is great power in a woman’s ability to take care of herself and stand on her own two feet without the need of a partner. In Bird’s case and in 1960, without the need of a man.
Bird was a very simple, straightforward woman and yet her community was judgemental about whom she chose to love. It was complicated - not for her, but for the town in which she lived.
It's not a tradition in my culture to stand at the grave side, and we say things to the deceased, as we say goodbye and watch them go from one realm of life into the next... But I love that moment when Bird says goodbye, and lets go of her first love. She finally got the closure she was so desperately seeking.
Bird’s Character Growth
I remember crying during the run of the play at the grave site, but something different happened to me during the film. It felt like a circle of completion. There were no tears. There was just the freedom of goodbye. It was finished. As an actor, I’d never experienced that choice. I just let Bird live in my body, and say goodbye in the way she chose to.
Life has a way of bringing things back to us. And we can push things away from us over, over and over again, the Universe will ask us, ‘Have you learned that lesson yet? How about now?’ And then we’re given the biggest push. Bird had to ask herself, ‘Was she ready?’ ‘Had she learned?’ And then and only then could she speak her personal truth in a way that she never felt safe to before... The power of that truth set her free.
Suzanne Darrell as “Bird” in Mirrors.
Filmed Experience of MIRRORS
I love being a stage actor. Shooting something out of sequence versus the challenge of doing a play from beginning to end without stopping... is one of the most powerful experiences. You go on a journey all the way from beginning to the end... And you leave room for magic to happen. I feel totally very present in the moment for those 2 hours.
Magic happens in film as well. The lovely thing about doing a film is that you get the opportunity to do it again and again. And you find new and different things that you might not have found running it from beginning to end.
I will say, doing the film version left a lot more room for the expansion of choices. Amazing things happened when I let go even more. When we were working on the film, I could sense subtleties in a way I hadn’t had time for in the traditional play. . I think it will be evidenced when people see it who have also seen the play in its first iteration.
Suzanne’s Takeaways
Be patient. You never know what’s going to come to you. Be kind. Because everyone is working incredibly hard to develop the project and bring it to life, and be generous and gentle with yourself and with other people...